i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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