Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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