I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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