Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
