i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize