Fine. I'll sleep in my office
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
