At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize