Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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