I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
