So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am mentally ready for anal.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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