I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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