I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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