it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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