did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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