So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
