You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
