Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You are a genius and a whore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
