Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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