before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
