the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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