He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
