I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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