I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
