Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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