I faked an abortion last night.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
