Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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