Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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