There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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