I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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