Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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