i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
