What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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