He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
