Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
