We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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