4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize