Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
