sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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