The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
