Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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