theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
