Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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