would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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