I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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