Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
