Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
