when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
