We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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