are you still at the devil's house?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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