actually, I'm a sock model
So drunk its hurt
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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