I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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