I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
