If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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