just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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