dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
