You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
