But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
